I recorded a podcast on Thanksgiving Day called, "You are a miracle." I cried through the entire recording. If you listen closely, I'm sure that you will be able to hear me wiping the tears off my face. You can find the link to my podcast here.
When I started my podcast, I did not know it would be so emotional for me. I did not realize that I would be sharing my heart in such a tender way. When I first conceptualized itt, I imagined myself being more "factual" - but, as I have encouraged in the recordings, I followed my heart. I did what felt good to me, and what it felt like I had always been meant to do.
I'm cutting and pasting the transcription of my podcast below, for anybody who is more of a reader of words, rather than a listener. I'm also sharing an image which contains the affirmation I shared at the end of the podcast.
Please let me know what you think - either by sending me a message or writing me a review on iTunes - both are so greatly appreciated!
You are a miracle.
Somewhere along the way, maybe you forgot that you were. But today, dear friend, I am here to remind you.
Long before you were saddled with doubt, responsibilities, expectations, beliefs, fears, and societal norms, you were free. You were free to dream. Free to be you. Free to adventure. Free to explore
Who were you then? What were you like? Think back to a moment from your childhood that stands out for you. Close your eyes. What do you look like? What are you doing? What is the expression on your face? How do you feel? What did you love then? What did you want to be? What was possible?
One moment always pops into my mind. I’m sitting on a cinder block wall at our house in North Carolina. I’m being interviewed by my neighbor who had brought over this new fangled monster of a video camera to record me on a VHS tape. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” he can be heard saying off camera. My eyes sparkle. The excitement wells up in me so intensely that I can barely catch the words as they come tumbling from my mouth : A rock collector, a violinist, a ballerina, an explorer, a marine biologist… the list went on. I was SO excited about life – because EVERYTHING was possible.
I hadn’t been told that I didn’t fit in. I hadn’t been told that I needed to, “be responsible”. I hadn’t been told that I couldn’t follow my dreams. I hadn’t been told that there were expectations. I had only been told that I could be anything and everything that I ever wanted.
Somewhere along the way, those dreams were chipped away. Bullying destroyed my self confidence. Traditional views about money and responsibility permeated by subconscious – I began to believe that I couldn’t make a living doing what I loved. By the time I graduated college, I was living in my best friend’s bedroom working as a cart girl selling hot dogs at a golf course while frantically searching for jobs – ANY jobs – on monster.com. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that I was a miracle. I forgot I had dreams. The spark in my heart was reduced to a smoldering ember. I forgot that I was placed on this earth to make a difference.
And yet, that dreamer was never lost – she was never gone. She is the voice that whispers in those quiet moments when your heart reconnects with who you truly are. She is there when you are standing on the top of a mountain watching the sun dip below the horizon. She is the one who speaks in those moments where you think, or rather, where you KNOW that everything is possible. She is the voice that gives you the ideas that you’ve been too afraid to pursue. She is the one who has been guiding you all along – gently allowing you to learn the lessons you need to learn along the way, while always tugging you back to her – reminding you – I am still here. I have not forgotten you. I will not leave you. You have never been alone.
You are a miracle. In a planet of over 7 billion people, there is and only will be one you. Somehow, out of the infinite possibilities of cells that could have combined to form a person, you happened. We tend to forget this, because thinking about it can be shockingly overwhelming. For some reason, we place self love on the back burner. We lose belief in ourself. We turn down the volume of the voice inside that tells us that we were meant for great things in our life. We settle into mediocrity and accept it as our sentence for not being one of the, “lucky ones”. We allow ourselves to dream only occasionally – when we buy a lottery ticket at the gas station, or when we see somebody else who inspires us. We think, “I had this idea once…” or “I always wanted to do this other thing.” We forget that we still can. That we are alive right now. We trap ourselves in a prison without walls, without realizing that all we ever have to do is step outside. We are not trapped by anything except for our own mind, our disbelief in ourselves and the fears that we use as excuses. Walking out of that invisible trap is easier said than done, but it must begin with you. It must begin with you remembering that you are a miracle. It must begin with you learning to love yourself again, for exactly who you are right now.
I still remember the first time I tried to tell myself the three words, “I love you.” I broke down crying. I simply couldn’t do it. I had spent so many years trying to be somebody that I was not, that I had lost touch with who I really was. I didn’t even know myself anymore. Gradually, I realized that if I wanted to courageously live an adventure-inspired life … and if I wanted to teach others how to do the same … I needed to start with me. It isn’t selfish or greedy – in fact, it is the kindest thing that you can do for the people you love the most, for it is only in truly loving yourself that you can bring your greatest gifts into this world to share with others.
I started writing affirmations for myself. This felt silly at first, because I didn’t believe them. But I didn’t stop. Day after day, I wrote them and repeated them to myself:
I am enough. I am strong. I am deserving. I am creative. I inspire millions of people. I am creating my adventure inspired life. I am beautiful. I love who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming. I can create anything that I can dream. I am worthy of my dreams. I was born to change the world.
Consistently I wrote these things to myself and repeated them. I started imagining my friends and family telling me what they loved the most about me. Eventually, when that didn’t reduce me to tears, I started telling myself those things. Finally, I stood in the mirror and stared at myself. I love you, I said. And I meant it.
To my dear friend and listener, wherever you are right now in your life, I see you. I believe in you. Your past, your pain, your struggles, your story – those things are not you. You are an infinite being of love – you are a miracle. Listen to the voice of that dreamer inside you – she will not lead you astray. Follow the path you are being guided on, and trust. Trust that following your heart will always guide you down the right trail. Each moment in this life is precious – don’t forget that. You are precious, and you always have been. From the moment you entered this world as a screaming baby, you have been loved. Do not live in fear – trust the process.
I hope this is the start of something beautiful for you. I hope you remember who you are. I hope you know you are a miracle. Last week, I looked at myself in the mirror and said the following... I hope you can say it too:
I love you with all of who you are. With your tears and your pain. I see you, and I think you are a miracle. This is your skin. These are your eyes and hair. These are your blue eyes, staring back at you. Not one other person alive can see through your eyes or feel the touch on your skin. In each and every way, you are perfect.
You are made of love. You were born to climb mountains and explore the trails. You were born curious. Stay curious. You were born to inspire. Keep sharing your heart. You were born to change the world. Keep climbing.